THE POSSIBLE BREAKDOWN?
A few months back when the weather was still warm outside, I was driving up the state to spend some time with my mom. While driving I passed a family that was actually outside playing baseball or softball in the yard. They had their aunts and uncles, cousins or maybe friends, neighbors sitting in lawn chairs rooting them on…. I slowed down, cracked the window a bit and smiled as I watched a little boy run the bases and seeing another try and chase him for the tag and listening to the cheering section. For me that was unusual in this day and age to see such a sight.
Kids, families rarely take the time to spend that kind of quality time together anymore. I mean yeah, we have our children enrolled in community sports, like soccer, church basketball or on school sports teams, that is if they are good enough to make the team. It is true, the times have changed, and so have the consequences of what we have allowed to take the place of our responsibilities.
Remembering when I was in elementary school…. I could remember having a fear, a good fear of hoping to never being sent to the principals office. Back in the 1970s
if you were called to the principals office, it mainly meant you would be receiving the paddle… aka a swat on the rear! I can honestly remember kids, mainly boys who
would be called out of class for such a visit and you knew what happened upon their return because most of them had a red face or a tear. I don’t ever recall the same boy ever being called out twice, but only once in the entire year…. which meant, a ONE TIME TRIP TO SEE THE PRINCIPAL IS ALL YOU WOULD NEED.
NOw a days, the paddle has been replaced with cards… when a kid gets into trouble from the teacher, he/she has to pull a card, if again they get into trouble, they have to pull a yellow card, again if in trouble they pull a red card and lose their break/recess… If a more serious offense then they have to take a trip to the principals office for a verbal discussion and possibly an entire day of recess loss????? I mean really? I know some kids who rarely get recess anymore…. Do you know what this does to a child within? Just think about it, for a second? Do you know what this does to a teacher? They have no authority, they have no rights either, like the parents. They fear losing their jobs, or worse being sued which will affect their careers and family.
I also remember when being a kid, if I got into trouble by a responsible adult or family member… then I got into trouble when I got home. There was none of this, Aunt Jane is to blame or Uncle Tommy is to blame or Mr/Mrs DOE(teacher) is lying. There was a genuine good healthy fear, that kept us kids in balance and within the boundaries of right and wrong…. back then right and wrong was defined by the ten commandments!
I never went to church as a kid… but I knew about the ten commandments… they were a foundation for my generation to have the right to build upon if we chose to do so. I don’t recall ever being mentally scarred, or emotionally devastated because the ten commandments were within public buildings and in full view for my eyes to read them if I chose to do so.
I can only offer my opinion as to why we are seeing such devastating results in our communities with our children…. when you take away discipline and rights from parents, and responsible adults who love and care for our children and give these rights to the children…. we in turn rob our children of that healthy fear, to help them thrive in life and society.
Since the mid 70s, we have succeeded in taking away discipline in the schools, we have removed the very foundation our country was built on (The Ten Commandments) from our public buildings and view. We have taken away parental rights by allowing the HIPAA LAW to pass in 1995 and signed in 1996 into law; which gives our children the right to have full say over GUARDIAN OF THEIR PERSON at a very young and immature age and DENY US AS PARENTS the right to be privy to any mental, medical, or health records. Yet, I see everyday parents being blamed for not taking enough responsibility in raising their children up right or disciplining them right? Who can tell me what is right? How are you raising your child, better than I or my neighbor? When most parents have fear of being arrested for abuse because their teenager is out of control… we see it time and time again… remember the FB DAD who corrected his daughter? The police was all over his ass….and the kids know this, they know they have more rights than you and I.
We have no right or wrong boundaries anymore? Some say it is alright to smoke pot, drink beer, smoke a cigarette, others say it is not? MY GOD, our own states and federal agencies are divided over certain issues… How confusing to our children? And yet the parents are to blame?
The law says if you can’t control your kids, then let us find a reason or better yet, you as parents give us a reason to arrest them and we will do it for you? When doing that… their entire future is at stake, if not ruined? Is that what we have come to? Is this the right answer? Throw them behind bars? Out of sight out of mind kind of answer? I wish someone would answer me…. because my mind doesn’t really know. My heart tells me NO, it isn’t the right answer… because we are better than this!
This is what I do know. When I was kid, I had a healthy fear of my teachers, principals, aunts, uncles, parent, community law enforcement …but my biggest fear was my grandparents who I can remember having to go out and pick and pull my switch off the tree for my discipline when I was in need of correction…. do you know what that can do to you as a kid??? It can straighten your attitude, and adjust your way of thinking quicker than anything! It will teach you to be respectful of others…
I remember not having a choice when having to go visit family and or sitting and watching 60 minutes or worse The Lawrence Welk Show as a kid…. instead of Jackass and sponge bob.
I also remember being able to laugh with my cousins because our families always had time for each other and we made quality time to play hide and go seek, tag, freeze tag, red rover red rover send crazy right over, cards, board games, (family feud was my all time favorite, in fact I still have it for the memories) My favorite part of the yard games was when everyone would put their foot or fist in the huddle and someone would count off like so to pick who would be it! Who can remember this one… my mother and your mother were hanging up clothes, my mother socked your mother right in the nose.. what color was the blood? Then someone would pick a color and you would then spell the color out, in turn who ever’s fist the last letter landed on was not it.
Kids today don’t even know what freeze tag is… much less know how to be fair in being picked first or accepting being last. We see more and more of bullying techniques.
Look, I don’t have the answers. I only know I fear for my sons, their futures, and their future families in this current environment in which we live. Without the right to healthy discipline in our schools and homes, without healthy boundaries and being given the right to choose foundations of right and wrong defined by the ten commandments and without giving new parents and parents of young children the security and right to step in and make proper decisions for their wellbeing, when their children are not mature enough to do so or in danger of destroying their health, lives….. we will have no one to blame but ourselves for allowing our law makers to continue to do it for us. WITH THAT SAID I CONTINUE WITH THIS:
I am appalled to read in the news about the deceased Nancy Lanza, mother of Adam Lanza a 19 year old…. who by definitions of the UNITED STATES LAW, was considered an adult, and deemed completely responsible for having being able to make decisions for himself as guardian of his person…. in turn his mother had no right, nor was privy to any of his medical or mental records under the HIPAA LAW long before he ever turned 19. If guessing probably since he turned 15. She is unable to speak now… but being a mother of a 19 year old myself; this media attack on her, hits close to home and I will be a voice to speak up to those passing judgment upon her. Though our issues here are different, the red tape with the HIPAA LAW is the same. I know what I have dealt with personally the last few years with my son in dealing with the confidentiality laws, and hospitals privy acts and blah blah blah… in regards to my sons prescription drug addiction…. I was thrown out of a hospital room a few years back, because I wanted my son to get help… at the time he was in denial of his addiction. He had more rights than I, which is still the case with all our children. DO NOT BLAME THE PARENTS…. BLAME THE STATES AND BLAME WASHINGTON for the current mess we have….again, we can blame ourselves as parents, if we fail to stand and call for RESPONSIBLE CHANGE!!!
Instead of always taking away… we need to consider giving back….
I think there could be room for revisement within the gun control issue… I just don’t want another mistake like what is within the HIPAA LAW and everything gets taken away from good people for protecting their families and property from the bad ones, who never follow the laws anyway. I think there should be revisement within the HIPAA LAW, instead of taking all parents rights away… take only from the ones who deserve their rights taken.
I honestly feel if we start here, we might be successful in securing a safer more productive environment for our future generations of children. We as parents have a responsibility, more so now than ever to contact our local congressman and demand change by having our voices heard.
REMEMBER THIS:
Those who want to be bad, will always be… no law, no amount of discipline, love will change this…. it is written into the fabric of our time….. it was so from the beginning and it will continue thru out the ages, long after you and I are gone.
This is just my thoughts for I am troubled. AND for those who asked how I can sleep at night? The truth is… for about the last four to five years… I have slept very little… my heart aches constantly, my spirit stays troubled…. because we just don’t need change, we need RESPONSIBLE CHANGE and that starts within all of us who call America home.
Tonight I pray for Ryan Lanza and his father… they too are grieving for they have lost a mother, brother, son and I am certain a friend….
May GOD GRANT PEACE TO ALL, AND IN TIME, MAY GOOD COME FROM THIS.
luartfan
Renee Emery 